Woke up this morning with a “mood”. Do you know the kind? One where it takes you over like in one of those sci fi movies when an alien invades someones body and becomes them only with a different intent? Yikes! Well, that’s the way it felt. I was grumpy, moody, antagonistic, agitated etc, etc, etc....Couldn’t break out of it and in all likelihood didn’t want to. I had my suspicions about why not but was not ready to find my way out of “The Mood”. Now this mood is not foreign to me. I could / should probably give it a name like “no fricken way” or “I just can’t do that” or Eddie. The actual name doesn’t really matter I suppose. It’s more about just giving it an identity. That way when I see it coming [...]
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So far dankaufman has created 4 blog entries.
Of late I’ve noticed that my perspective about working with individuals, groups and organizations has shifted. I think in large part it’s because our lives have become so complex that I’ve come to realize that there is no one way, no right way to help others reach their goals or make the changes they want to in their lives. I don’t think I can guarantee anyone what the actual outcome of their work will be. Why? Because there are so many intervening events that can’t be predicted each of which can change how they or I experience or make sense of a situation. There are new thoughts, conversations and unexpected events that will change how they and I might perceive the situation or what an outcome might look like. This is not a bad thing, and this is what our lives have [...]
I’d like to introduce you to little Danny. Little Danny is a shadow part of me. He came into being when I was a child somewhere between the ages of 5-12. His modus operandi was/is to act out, be sarcastic, feel angry, lie and joke around at the expense of others. Little Danny was borne out of a symbiotic relationship with my father. Dad was very neurotic, angry, an alcoholic and filled with anxiety. He wasn’t comfortable in his own skin and needed me to be with him as much as was possible. He owned a mom and pop dry cleaning store and I worked there every day after school and on Saturdays which prevented me from being with my peers and from learning the social skills necessary to make friends and learn how to have fun. When dad drank, he was [...]
This morning while getting ready for the day I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Now I consider mirror images and seeing our weight on weight scales as two of the best opportunities to work on judgment. Do we like what we see? If we don’t how do we respond? If it’s with judgment or anger, we have the opportunity to change our response and be more forgiving or loving of ourselves but that’s another story. As I caught this glimpse of myself, my thoughts drifted back to memories from adolescence. To memories of staring into the mirror and not liking what I saw. It wasn’t your basic oh geez I don’t like the way I look today or, I have lousy hair, or I can’t stand another day of looking at these pimples. No, it was a deeper experience. [...]